Working With Rails

I knew I was special back in 1991 when I was still 11 years old. Using only a piece of paper, I constructed an origami model of two buildings, one set on fire, the other with an airplane flying nearby. It will be 10 years later when I would burn that origami model in fear and dread, but in 1991 I only found amusement in what I created.

Early in high school I can already play a guitar left-handed. I have registered a score of 300 at a local bowling tournament. I can paint. I can breakdance. I am fluent in Spanish, Nihongo, French and Ilokano. Sometimes, I can also guess what you’re holding behind your back just by picking the first thought that comes to my head.

With all these gifts, fame beckoned early in my life. I travelled the world. I loved and was loved. But there’s always a price to pay for fame and fortune, and I would rather not talk about those years that came after, those events that happened, those horrible things I’ve done.

Suffice it to say that I survived that dark chapter of my life. Before the rage of typhoon Feria, I climbed the mountain of Sto. Tomas and stood on top of the old VOA radar. With the wind and rain like sharp knives on the skin of my face, I closed my eyes, focused on my Tai Chi, and found inner peace.

Now I am a successful programmer, having wrote a open source program that can generate your own biography, just by entering keywords relating to your life, such as origami, bowling, Tai Chi, and millions. The software has been downloaded by millions, and despite it being free, rich and poor alike have donated millions for their gratitude. I do not keep any of these donations; they all go directly to my foundation, the Foundation For The Gifted Yet Humble.

Granted, I will be the first to admit that these achievements are no match to those of Hugh Gallagher, a man who once defended an Amazon village from an army of ants using only a hoe and a glass of water.

But at least I graduated from college.